shitty cities

I have recently come to the conclusion that there is no way in hell a chic, sassy NYC bitch can ever live happily in another US city. The only place to move is Europe, or if you're crunchy, the far east. For example -Boston is supposed to be a cool, intellectual city b/c of its billions and trillions of students. Unfortunately, it is just a big stinky fake-ass city with goober-buckets of nerd-burger retards (except of course for the uber-booger butt-munchers in Cambridge). Is it just me or do other n.yorkers feel like you're suffocating when you're in a little shitty city?
As I write this blog, my coworker (who grew up in shitty Albany) just remembered that she used to play "retard" with her sisters, taking turns imitating the mentally challenged while riding around in wheel chairs. This brings up another point... going to college and entering adulthood in NYC is awesome, but it may be cool to be a little kid in a shitty city. It is cool to play imaginative games like the aforementioned; the excessive stimulation and small living spaces NYC permits may not be the best for a blossoming brain. BUT if any of us chic new yorkers are going to bring up our kids in shitty cities, then we have to move out of NYC. OK - idea!! LIVING in a gated community 15 minutes out of NY and let our children run around in the gated community in tie-dyed onesies while we stay chic and sassy in NYC! Awesome!