Office Romance: The good, the bad and the ugly

When you are on the train, riding the subway, in line at Starbucks or A.B.P and other corporate watering holes, and stuck in an office building for the better part of your day, you begin to believe that long wool coat wearing, on the brink of balding, slight paunch-sporting, brief case wielding men are all that are out there. So, when any slim lapeled, recent post-graduate under 30, who is brave enough to break the corporate barrier by talking about their favorite bar or cracking a joke at a superior's expense, comes along, you are inclined to give him the time of day.
I recently decided to give one of these guys more than the time of day. And not just any corporate clone, one that I work for!
First the good:
The whole thing began with some complaining work emails that quickly turned more frequent and then flirtatious until they eventually devolved into invites to parties where no other work buddies were to be found. I thought, "This guy is kind of dreamy, athletic, funny, well behaved and sweet, not obnoxious, he doesn't clam up when we talk shit about our co-workers, lives in a great neighborhood, and makes a great salary (I know this because, um, I work for him)".
Anyway, the first invite was casual but exciting. We talked at his party and neither of us spoke about our relationship status and basically just shot the shit for a while and gossiped about work. He was attentive and quick to get me a drink. But then another invite followed, which I couldn't make. Then I suggested we grab drinks to make up for my no show. Bold? I think so, but well received. By the time we met up late Saturday night, both of us were sufficiently crunked and pretty much hooked up right then and there which led to my place or yours? which led to [the portion has been edited for the blog].
The next day was followed by a very mature brunch, several assurances of "I wont act weird or tell anyone at work". He has called me and hasn't told anyone and generally been very respectful and sweet. We've even had some fun sneak outs where we share a cab home or grab drinks. And there is always a nice brunch in the morning. It's also nice to receive emails saying you look hot today when you are feeling nasty in your business casual.
Oh and guys, listen up, he ALWAYS pays. Even when I protest and I really mean it, he always always pays. This is not about money. It is about being treated. It doesn't matter the cost. It's the act of being treated. Please keep that in mind. It's important.

Ok, so here is where it gets bad:
We talk almost every day on IM at work which is extremely distracting. I have a heart attack and trip over myself every time I have to go to his office or walk past him in a meeting. When we see each other on the weekends or for drinks after work, we inevitably talk about WORK! It sucks. And, one of my co-workers who I love and think is the sweetest girl ever has a raging crush on him! Normally, I'd say, hey friend, just letting you know I've hooked up with him because I definitely feel deceitful but I can't tell her because we work together! I really want to tell my other friend at work too but I just can't risk it.

And here is where it gets ugly:
The more I get to know this guy, the less we have in common. He is not from either coast or international (generally a requirement in my book, though I make exceptions) and quite immature, not the reserved and quiet guy I fell for over file folders. He loves ESPN... but really, obsessed and reads drugstore novels. He gives me blank looks when I say I went to a museum or listen to some non mainstream music. Also, how do you tell someone you work with that he is a bad hook-up (painfully so). I'm talking leaves you feeling like you fought a war down there. Foreplay is more like awkward pokes. I like a good hard squeeze from time to time but being rough with the tender parts ain't ok. When I try to guide him, he freaks out and feels self-concious. Oh, and why am I louder than him in bed? Oh, and what is with guys who don't make it obvious when they are about to come. Like, I just keep going along, like when is this going to end? I would like a status update once in a while to keep me engaged please...
Outside of the bedroom, he is also a little bland and dresses a bit B&T on the weekends.
Most importantly, he is not the only one in my roladex and I plan to keep it that way. But he puts me in an awkward position by asking if there are others? If I tell him, he'd get pissed. If I don't, I feel like a liar. Lord... I never thought about the fact that breaking it off could cause serious repercussions including awkward working relationship and word getting around. Now that I've sailed down this river, I feel there is not much I can do. I've tried being stand offish and that seems to encourage him. When I don't call him, he calls me to check in more. And... I really do like him as a person. He's funny and down to earth, unpretentious and has a good heart but this is growing into something more than I bargained for. Can we just be friends but really be friends? I want my office confidant back.
So, work hook-ups: Better left to daydreams in front of your PC.